I’ve written this blog a few times before this one and kept deleting it. Rambled into clothing, equipment, and a variation of those including digging into DadBods. I’ll save you from those as here is what I was hoping to say without ranting.
Forget everyone else. Short version....that’s it.
If you really want to get better, stronger, healthier, grow both mentally and physically, and maximize your time to really drive balance in your entire life....you need to forget about everyone else.
If you’re going to train, forget everyone else. You’re out there to sweat, so get it out. I’m a big sweater, always have been. 5 minutes or less into yoga and I’m drenched. But I can’t let that hold me back and never have. If I did I wouldn’t do it.
If you’re going to run, forget everyone else. There will always be those faster, shorter, taller, fatter, skinnier, and those in all those shapes who make it look easier than you. It doesn’t matter, you really need to be you. Need a break, take the break and walk, the cars and people around don’t know you’ve been running for 10 or 15kms already nor do they know if you’re only 1km in. Don’t worry about it. Some days I’m off and aim for 15kms, I get 3kms in and feel like stopping or sometimes I alter the plan entirely or my body says “no, I’m not doing this today”.
If you’re hitting the gym, forget about everyone else. You need to focus on you. Get in the zone, sweat, look red in the face like you’re going to keel over (like me, I’ve always been that way), and focus on getting further than yesterday not lifting or doing as much as the other guys.
If you’re going to a gym, a park to run, jog, or whatever it is, forget about everyone else. You need sneakers, a tshirt, and shorts unless you want to overheat. You don’t need the most fashionable clothing to get the work done. Get the sneakers, shorts, and shirt on and make it happen. If you get deeper focused on something in particularly, like running 42.2kms and training for it, you’ll start to notice the difference in better shoes, socks, and clothing. For 5kms you don’t need the best gear, you likely have sneakers lying around that will do the trick. Forget about how you look.
If you’re looking to join a class you’ve never tried, forget everyone else. If it’s something new you’re going to struggle at it, you’re going to be awful at it, you’re going to look silly, and you’re going to be lost on what to do. That’s fine! You have to start somewhere, don’t worry if others are judging you because if they are it doesn’t matter...likely they aren’t judging you anyway. I’ve taken up yoga classes the past couple months, I’m learning and transforming, I’m often looking around to see what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m getting better at it and feeling better about it, it doesn’t matter how I look as long as I show up and put in the work. I’m also one of the rare guys in those classes, that adds a whole other level of intimidation unless I block out everyone else and just be me.
If you’re looking to boost your career as a leader, forget everyone else. You are not there to make friends nor are you trying to win a popularity contest. Do the work, don’t get into the social (gossip) stuff, speak up in the meeting, and go home on time each and every day. Feel proud of the work day you put in, every minute of it, without regard for how you look to your peers. You need to have balance in building relationships and trust, but that means a fine balance.
If you’re looking to be a great parent, forget everyone else. Every child is different and no strategy works the same. Do what is right and all will work out. Be silly, play the games, let your adult side go, and make the child smile. Don’t worry about everyone else, they’ll judge or not judge nonetheless.
My point here: put in the work and don’t worry about how others perceive you. You need to worry about yourself and your tribe (wife/husband and kids), not about anyone else.
During the marathon I was passed by people who, from the outside, appeared in less physical shape than myself. They appeared to be not as athletic, not as capable, not as strong but were actually the opposite. They were much stronger, faster, athletic, and capable than me.
It’s not about how you look, it’s about how you feel. Feel better physically, mentally, emotionally without worry for how others perceive the outside you. Keep this in mind and you’ll grow to achieve more than others.
DadBud
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