Non est ad astra mollis e terris via.
There is no easy way from the earth to the stars - Seneca
It’s that time of year.
All kinds of ambitious New Years Resolutions and goals to live by for the new year. Amazing as it is to see so much positivity and willingness to achieve great things for the year ahead, I can’t help but get disappointed in the whole process.
I’ve mentioned before, I love the idea of making positive steps in your life but dread the fact that most people wait until a new year to make these necessary changes in life.
I’ve come to accept this time of year and the process of setting goals for people, I’m ok with it and actually have begun to join the party myself. In thinking further about it all, I do believe there is one element, or many, that is likely the culprit for my frustrations with these in most people.
“I want to give back or volunteer more”, “I want to get in better shape”, “I want to exercise more”, “I want to eat healthier”, “I want to read more”, “I want to travel”, “Meditate”, “Yoga”....the list could go on and on.
As a coach and leader, I understand the importance of goal-setting but often see these broad goals, wishes, resolutions with no real direction that lead directly to no real direction. Many of the resolutions or goals I see are great but are lacking important elements to truly make them sustainable. This is often why many resolutions go to die well before the end of the year.
Fantastic to say, “I want to exercise more”, but how? If this is you, you’ve likely joined a gym, a fitness class, got a personal trainer, or joined a community to support you along the way. That is great, it’s a step in the right direction but it’s not a plan. If this is you, likely you’ve joined a gym or something before and didn’t stick with it...that’s why you’re doing it again now. A plan truly entails changing what you’ve done before because that wasn’t working.
We need definitive pathways, a process, a track that will lead you to your destination.
You cannot simply change your daily habits and routines while expecting everything to go along with it. Too big a change and it will not adhere. Too general of a destination and you will be lost along the way resulting in quitting. Too vague of a goal and you’ll easily steer away from it.
Humans innately have tendencies to lead towards what is most comfortable in life or what is less foreign, we all do it and can’t help ourselves. Our minds and bodies are protecting ourselves from the unknown.
Take those mountains in the picture above as an example. If my goal is to “get to those mountains”, like any board new years resolution, this goal lacks so much substance and direction. If I’ve always stood here glaring at those mountains, how am I going to change my approach to getting there. What if I bought a car, problem solved....not in the least. The physical ability to get there always existed but little has changed. When am I going to leave? What road am I going to take? How long will it take me? When will I come back or will I stay and if so, how will I manage to stay? What’s my plan, my process to achieve my goal of getting to the mountains? And which mountain....
I’ve done this myself and have tested it all. I’ve set lofty goals and managed to achieve them. I’ve also set weak goals and managed to fail at them. It all came down to the amount of work I put in really defining what it was I needed to do every day, week, month which allowed me to hold myself to pieces of the plan along the way. I set 43,000 things to do this year, and have them all meticulously planned out for how I will achieve them daily while knowing how much time it will take and change it will have on my 2018 self.
If you want to achieve more or something specific this year, great! Be sure to really figure out your plan, really dive into the how piece, and really make it something that will stick. Without a well thought out plan and direction, you’ll naturally steer away from it.... you’re simply being human by doing so.
DadBud
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